***DEFINITIVE YEAR-END WRAP-UP***

2003 was a weird year. I got a graduate degree. I finally saw the inside of two of my favorite music publications by interning there. My first piece was published in the Village Voice. I got my first VIP concert tickets for being a "music writer." Professionally, not a bad year. (Though I am currently unemployed so....) But personally, I'm in the same exact place I was in in 2002! It hardly feels like a year has gone by at all. A bad date here; a strange, furious public make-out session there; a few hardcore middle-school-style crushes in between. But no real, great romances or heartbreaks. So it's weird when I look back at the CDs that swelled my collection this year or the singles that were ubiquitious on MTV because they have no boy residue on them. There is no album this year that I'll never listen to again because it is too painful. (Oh 1994 how you ruined Portishead's "Dummy" for me! Ditto to you 1999, for ruining the Blur song, "Tender!" It is probably a good thing that I had all of my CDs stolen in 2001 because anything I bought while living in London in 1998 is imbued with too much sadness to ever listen to again!) No, 2003 will go down in my personal history as the year that every record could stand on its own. Just music, no romantic history.

That doesn't mean that the following records and songs aren't important to my personal history. Just like I will always be reminded of my little LES apartment when I am eighty years old every time I smell pickles (thanks, Katz's Deli!), I will always remember Shaya shakin' it like a Polariod picture in my cramped living room while changing the lyrics to OutKast songs to have her name in them ("Sha-Ya!"). I will always be 25 and wearing pajamas in my parents' house when I hear R. Kelly rhyme "ignition" with "kitchen" because my dad gave a monologue on Thanksgiving about how he thinks that is an ingenious rhyme scheme. When my kids are listening to an oldies station and they are playing that infectious Chi-Lites horn sample from the opening to "Crazy in Love," I will be transported to the basement of Lit where Beth and Jen and I danced with sweaty abandon near Julia Stiles and the dudes from the Darkness and even all of the cool-ass rock critics in attendance knew all of the words and sang along.
So to hell with romance, that's so last century. It was a good year and here are my picks:

BEST ALBUM:
10) You Are Free- Cat Power
9) Up the Bracket- The Libertines
8) Chutes too Narrow- The Shins
7) Hail to the Thief- Radiohead
6) Room on Fire- The Strokes
5) Speakerboxxx/The Love Below- OutKast
4) Dear Catastrophe Waitress- Belle and Sebastian
3) Fever to Tell- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
2) Chain Gang of Love- The Raveonettes
and my NUMBER ONE ALBUM OF THE YEAR: Elephant- The White Stripes

Honorable mentions:
Permission to Land- the Darkness, The Decline of British Sea Power- British Sea Power, Her Majesty- the Decemberists

BEST SINGLE:
10) Crazy in Love- Beyonce
9) Vanessa From Queens- Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks
8) Blackout- British Sea Power
7) Danger! High Voltage!- Electric Six
6) I Believe in a Thing Called Love- the Darkness
5) 12:51- the Strokes
4) Ignition (Remix)- R. Kelly
3) Beware the Boys- Panjabi MC featuring Jay-Z
2) Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes
and my NUMBER ONE SINGLE OF THE YEAR: Hey Ya!- OutKast

Honorable mentions:
Reptilia- the Strokes, Where Is the Love- Black Eyed Peas, Saint Simon- the Shins, Billy Liar- the Decemberists, Why Can't I?- Liz Phair, It's My Life- No Doubt

You'll notice one glaring omittion: The Artist Formerly Known As My Boyfriend, Ryan Adams. Critics drooled over his new, derrivative, boring album. He made the lists of all three major music magazines. My little boyfriend has finally hit the big-time! I'm not one of those fans who desert their favorite artist just because they got too popular. Ryan should be popular. He's a great songwriter. He's good at being a ROCK STAR. He's cute as all hell. Shit, he should have been big after Heartbreaker or even Gold. But for America to jump on the Ryan bandwagon when he puts out his most sub-par album ever is just disheartening. People, where were you when he was good?

I love the end of the year. I wait anxiously by the mailbox for my extra-thick year-end editions of my favorite magazines to arrive. There is something so satisfactory about a year-end wrap-up. I mean, who among us doesn't love knowing that the year's best new TV show is the OC (come to me, Adam Brody!) or the best celebrity scandal was the Paris Hilton sex tape (which brings us to the best new trend in on-screen lighting: night vision)?! But because I'm an unabashed music geek, I most treasure the Top (insert number here) Albums of the year that are put out by all of the major magazines, websites, and blog nerds alike.

I enjoy dissecting them ("Ugh! Pitchfork is, as always representing indie snobbery at its best! I mean at least they included the two Decemberists albums, OutKast and Cat Power. But c'mon folks, NOBODY thinks the Rapture's album was the best of the year! I like the Rapture and I don't think their album makes my Top 20!"), disagreeing with them ( "Oh, how hard it must be to be Rolling Stone ? I mean when you try to make everyone happy, you end up making no one happy." Your readers who are jumping for joy that you included The Bad Plus don't give a rat's ass about Beyonce and all of her booty shakin'. Plus, you only had 50 slots to fill and you gave one of them to Fannypack?! We all thought "Cameltoe" was funny, but no one thought it was the songwriting achievement of the year! But I give them props for their breadth- including the Darkness and Blur and Johnny Cash- if not their depth!), and devouring them (I've gotta give one of those proverbial "shout outs" here to my employers over at Spin . Their singles list was almost exactly how I would do it. I mean, I could do without the 50 Cent cuz I just don't get what the big deal is about him- if I got shot nine times and lived could I also have a huge rap smash even though I'm a chubby white girl with no flow? And they picked the wrong Darkness song- "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" is so good that it haunts me, I find myself singing it out loud as I walk down the street! But they gave props to "Ignition (Remix)", "Seven Nation Army," "Beware the Boys," and (my favorite song of the year) "Hey Ya!").

So, even though no one asked or cares, when I get a little free time this week (AKA: Christmas when the Jews have nothing to do but eat Chinese food and see movies) I'm going to post my favorite albums and singles of the year here. It has always been my dream to be a part of these Year End Wrap-Ups, so I'm just going to make my own. Two things I can tell you already, though:

Favorite "Year In Music" comment, so far: Rob Sheffield saying in Slate that Justin Timberlake is just Rick Astley in a trucker hat! (Truer words have never been spoken, Rob!)

Album I've never heard but have now heard so much good buzz about that I've already decided not to like it: Dizzee Rascal ("Boy in Da Corner")

First things first: I have been terribly remiss about writing all weekend. Not that anyone is sitting at home dying to know how I spend all of my (non-existant) free time, but still I like to keep up.
I've been busy getting ready for my big trip. London, Paris and Amsterdam. I'm gonna start the new year right this time! Plus, you know, they always say the way you start the new year is the way you'll spend your year; so, hopefully 2004 will be a year full of drunkenly snogging British boys while looking forward to a stoned week in Amsterdam!If anyone has any suggestions about where to go/ what to do or if you know a cute Brit I could snog please send suggestions to retown@hotmail.com

Ok, so I don’t want to be one of those hipster girls who writes about the next big band and how cool they are so that when Rolling Stone or whoever, covers them next year one can look back and see pictures of me snuggling drunkenly with the lead singer-2003-style! Well, maybe I want to be, but I can’t. I don’t know any real life rock stars (except Jen but being a rock star in your own mind doesn’t really count!). I don’t go to any hipster parties. And, since I moved out of Williamsburg four years ago I have been loathe to go back. (Seriously, folks it made me miserable there. My apartment had no windows, my roommates were turds who used to fuck their boyfriends in the same room as me and I was constantly worried about rats- we had them in our courtyard- and being stopped by the fashion police while on a late night L ride home.)
So it is with no pretensions of being cool or on the pulse that I turn your attention to my favorite band of the moment. THE KILLERS!
I haven’t stopped listening to their demo since they redeemed CMJ for me this year. (Their real debut album comes out “some time next year” according to their website.) I know CMJ was months and months ago (well, October seems forever ago!) but I had no public forum then in which to gush about my new-found love for these pretty Nevada boys! And frankly, I think Beth and Shaya got a little tired of hearing about them. Well, after dragging the ladies to their packed Don Hills show, I think Shaya was equally smitten. Beth, however, thought they were derivative. But derivative of the best bands! (Think the Cure and Joy Division, but you can dance to it!) And so so cute! I defy you to listen to Mr. Brightside (their UK single) and not be charmed.

Well, I've already gotten shit about my blog- it's to be expected. Phone calls. Emails. "I can't believe you have a blog. Loser!" I can't blame you guys; a couple of months ago I would've said the same thing!
However, one day you'll all thank me for sucking up my pride and publishing an online whatever-this-is (diary? treatise? account of the boring details of my life? journal of funny/cool things I've found on the web?).
First off, has anyone else heard the new
Courtney Love single? I can't stop being watching this woman! She's like a car wreck. The drug charges, the crazy online ramblings, the custody battles, the ever-changing release dates. (I get it, I get it. You're releasing it in February. For Valentine's Day. And your name is Love. How clever! I can see the headlines now!) I think that most of her personal life is too sad to mock and, seriously, when i think about Francis, it makes me want to cry. But her music is totally fair game! And I say that as a longtime Hole enthusiast. This song.... It's so not exciting. It's so by-the-books. I can't even work myeslf up into hating it. It's just so boring. Well, at least it has the trademarked, howling Courtney-style "Yeeeeeaaaaahhh!" at the end.
The other "controversy" that I've been following (ok, OBSESSIVELY following) is Mel Gibson's movie The Passion. And Mel, dude, I believe in your First Amendment right to make any kind of movie you want (hell, I didn't protest when you unleashed Conspiracy Theory and that movie was an affront to good taste!). Hey, you belong to a sect of Catholicism that is more conservative than the Pope- that's fine. I mean, I think it's a little weird that you don't think the Holocaust really happened (ok, in fairness your dad said that!) and that you reject the Second Vatican council. But, seriously, I respect your right to say anything you like or pray anyway you like. Mark my words though- I will not be seeing your anti-Semetic, all in Aramaic, brutal depiction of the killing of Jesus. You've shielded it so long from real film critics from, like, the New York Times and shown it only to conservatives who are sympathetic with your cause. (That cause ostensibly being letting everyone know that the Jews killed Jesus?) Say what you will about Michael Moore, but he shows his liberally-slanted films to everyone and weathers the criticism accordingly. Oh and who is the newest film critic that Gibson has invited into his Catholic coffee klatch? the POPE! I must say though, I don't know know what I would do with my time and energy if some of it wasn't spent hating Mel Gibson. Click here for a story I loved about Gibson and his martyr complex!

Just a thought.... I still totally love his music (and his cute buns in those tight red pants!), but let's try not to ever make Jack White mad!!

AN OPEN LETTER TO BRAVO:
Dear Bravo,
I do love your shows. You turned me onto the West Wing, which I had previously scoffed at. Inside the Actor’s Studio is as fun for its usually charming and lucid guests as it is for its host. (Is anyone else a little disturbed that James Lipton seems less like a real person and more like Will Ferrell’s impersonation of him every time you watch?) And, compared with the rest of basic cable, which harbors an unnatural love for the movies of Steven Segal and Michael Douglas, you generally show some great, unappreciated movies. (I have spent many a night watching Velvet Goldmine and Ordinary People on your channel.)
That said, I would really, really like the half-hour of my life back that I spent watching the beyond-hideous “Making of the Queer Eye Video.” I know, no one forced me to watch and, therefore, I have no one to blame but myself for the three hours that that ridiculous song was stuck in my head. But, in my defense, I was just waiting around in between the Queer Eye Christmas Reunion Special and the second half of a West Wing two-parter.
The flaws with your program are as follows:
Firstly, there was your errant musical choice. After two minutes of watching the making of the video, I could honestly say that things are NOT getting better! I love a good gay club hit as much as the next straight gal and I promise I’m on the dancefloor as soon as I recognize the opening chords of “It’s Raining Men,” but your theme song makes me physically sick during the 30 second opening credits- so, I warn you, prolongued exposure to this piece of dreck, might cause seizures, like Mary Hart’s voice!
Second of all: Jai, in general, is the most worthless and annoying “character” on your show. While Thom is busy turning a house that was covered in smelly gym socks and old porn into a Crate and Barrel catalogue and Kyan is trying to convince some mountain man to use a moisturizer and shave with the grain of the hair, Jai is asking people if they know how to circulate at a party. You know what, ass, if this dude doesn’t know how to talk to people, he’s got bigger problems than his classic mullet! I believe that is what the abundance of commercials for social anxiety disorder medications are for! Now, I thought I couldn’t find Jai more annoying. Until last night. Watching him dance last night; biting his lip like he was in pain, making aggressive “Man Dance” faces, moving his small womanly body like a chorus girl on Ritalin. It was all too much for me to take! The only good thing I have to say about his incredibly unnatural dancing (um, was anyone else kind of grossed out by his grinding with that other female dancer?) was that at least he finally had a part to play in the show!
Third of all: Why must everything be so scripted with this show now? Remember back in season one when the guys weren’t all media savvy and actor-ly? That was charming. That is what lured your viewers in. They were real guys and THAT was cute. Now, they are practicing banter and (badly) reading lines. It is embarrassing. I miss the old Fab Five. They were less TV stars and more like the awesome fashion/design/food/product-savvy real life gay guys that I know. (Um, you’ll notice there were only four descriptors there- again, this is because JAI DOES NOTHING!!)
Now Bravo, please do not take this letter the wrong way. I like Queer Eye. I watch Queer Eye. I have a strange abiding crush on Thom, even though- after years in drama school, I should know better! It’s just that….well, have you learned nothing from MTV? Their huge big hit the Osbournes was the show that spawned a hundred merch opportunities and look where that got them? I’m not suggestion that Ted is going to have a 42 pill a day habit, I’m simply warning you that one more video “spectacular” like you gave me the other night and I might have had my fill of the Fab Five. It’s called over-exposure. Ask Carson, he’ll tell you. Queer Eye will be sooooo last season.

Tonight is the Stellastarr* show. I love these cats. Their music is so Joy Division meets the Pixies meets the Cure. I either want to be their bassist- the uber cute Amanda Tannen- or marry their lead singer. (Mrs. Rebecca Christensen has quite a ring to it!) I discovered them in a Brooklyn bar two years ago when they were the opening band for the opening band and next thing you know their album is on RCA and they are playing Last Call with Carson Daly (not that Carson "I'm a massive tool" Daly's show is the end-all-be-all, but still!). I think they were the first band I felt like I discovered on my own since I feel in love with Poole senior year of high school. (I still stand by Poole's album, "Alaska Days." Try not to love the song, "Ovaltine" I DARE YOU!) So it was doubly exciting that for my first real piece of published journalism in the Village Voice that I got to write a review of their debut record.
I've really been absolutely no fun the last four months while I finished up my journalism M.A. and worked two internships. I haven't really been going to any shows- despite the fact that I usually go to at least one a week on a slow week- so, hopefully tonight will be my re-entry back into my life of fun!
Stellastarr* are playing at Webster Hall and I've never seen a concert there. (I did, however, once get asked to leave that club when I was 19. Let's just say the incident involved me on my hands and knees under a table upstairs and leave it at that.) So I guess tonight will be my triumphant return in more than one way.

I can't believe that I've broken down and joined 1999. I've gotten a blog! I wouldn't feel so lame about it if I hadn't spent a year decrying blogs as a wasteland of the lame. Well, I'm gonna need something to occupy my time now that I've graduated from grad school and unemployment is staring me in the face. Now if I could just buy a digital camera and learn how to download music off of the internet, I could be totally caught up with the trends of five years ago!