Sad songs say so much

This is literally the most depressing thing I've ever experienced: Last night, at 2 a.m., I was being driven home in a car service from work by a very chatty older gentleman. His car smelled like an airplane and stale cigarettes at the same time (though you don't really find those two smells together anymore) and he was clearly hard of hearing, but he was nice and when he tried to engage me in conversation, I felt like I should play along, even though I was so tired that I could barely make words. So, he looks back at me and says, "Writer?" And I was like, "Yeah! How'd you know?" And he says, "When I pick people up from your company I can always tell if they are an art director or a writer or a sales representitive. I think it's because I used to work in advertising." I should have been content to leave our conversation at that, but I didn't want him to think that I was a writer for this company, because really I'm just a lowly fact-checker (well, among other reasons). So I explained that I was a freelance writer who just worked "here" as a fact checker to suppliment my income. And my driver goes, "Oh I went to journalism school! I used to write for a newspaper too, but then I left when I realized there was no money to be made in it!" Now, not to be snobby, but this guy drives a car for a car service! But, he's right, I'm SURE he makes more money than I do. How fucking sad is that? I saw my whole life flash before me: Am I going to end up a grizzled old lady driving a petty cab, stomping on the dreams of young, hopeful writers?

You've gotta give a little

Thanksgiving was great. (As those of you who know me already know, it's my second favorite holiday after Halloween!) The travelling wasn't as hectic as it could have been, it was nice to see my family, and I was a totaly sloth. What's not to like? Plus, since my mother is still recouperating from surgery, my sister, my aunt, and I cooked the whole meal and I'm pleased to say, it was still delicious. (The best dish was my sweet potatoes!) I also took occasional breaks from sitting on my fat ass in front of my parent's ENORMOUS TV and eating my face off to do a little shopping (though I successfully avoided the mall and, hence, the crowds). So, all in all, a good trip.

I also learned some valueable lessons:

1) If you were ever obsessed with a play and they make that play into a movie, you will inevitably be torn by the results. "Rent"--which I went to see the first day I was home--wasn't good, by any stretch of the imaginiation, but I'm already making plans to go see it again (perhaps dragging my roommate) because it was still exciting to see to hear those songs in surround sound and to see those characters that I was so in love with once. I'm convinced that, even if they had done a good job (perhaps if another director--one who DIDN'T make "Home Alone"--was hired), I wouldn't have been satisfied. Firstly, because we are more accepting of certain unrealistic conventions in a theater (as opposed to on screen, where we expect everything to be natural). And secondly, because no movie could capture the palpable yet ethereal magic of my MEMORY of the play. (Though the part where Adam Pascal is singing "What You Own" on top of a mountain in Santa Fe like the Britney Spears "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet A Woman" video was cringeworthy and embarassing by any standard.)

2) I'm not sure what the mathmatical equation is, but sometime before you turn 30 you will go home to your parent's house one day and it will magically no longer feel like your home. This happened to me for the first time in my life over this holiday. That's not to say that I didn't feel welcome there or that it wasn't comfortable but, after 6 years of living in NYC, I finally felt (as I lugged my heavy suitcase up five flights of stairs yesterday) that I was coming home instead of leaving it. And when I slept in the bed in my parent's house, I had nightmares every night--like you do when you sleep somewhere unfamiliar. Last night back in my shitty bed in New York, I slept like a baby! I suppose that is a good thing, a marker of growing up. But it is a little sad.

3) Global warming is real, people. It is disturbing to me that today's low is 56! It is almost December! I woke up in my flannel sheets with the heat blasting (I can't control it), sweating. That is unnatural.

4) The amount of time you have off from work is directly proportional to how much you don't want to go back when your vacation is over. I've been off (being a lazy lazy person) for five days, so that makes this Monday morning five times harder than usual.

5) Though the Christmas season seems to start earlier every year, there is something exciting about the days following Thanksgiving when everyone can drop all pretenses and just embrace the season. Retailers seem kind of desperate about it--like they've been holding off, trying to appear tasteful, but now with December in reach, they can finally let it all hang out and greedily trumpet the Christmas season. And companies are starting to hold their holiday parties. It's like everyone has an excuse to be drunk everyday from now til the new year.

And, in pursuit of some of that holiday merriment, you'll definitely find me at the Loose Record holiday celebration this Friday. The bands are good, the bar is ACROSS THE STREET from my apartment, and Loose Record is run by a friend of Lacey's. Hope to see you all there!

What's going on....

I just finished writing this whole post about what I've been up to, why I haven't been blogging, and how much I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. But since Safari shut down my computer and Blogger lost my post, I'm pissy and feeling lazy about writing, so you're just gonna have to make due with a quick list.

1) Run, don't walk to the newsstand. There are so many great articles out there now (many of which were written by people that I know and love). For example, the cover story of the new issue of the New Yorker was translated and fact checked by my roommate. (Normally I'm very anti that publication because it is so pretentious and full of hot air, but this story--on young Iranians--is really great. Plus, I know how much time and hard work went into it, so I appreciate it on a whole other level.) Also, my friend Emily wrote a great piece in the December issue of W on model cater/waiters. Be sure to check out her hot contributor's photo in the front of the book! Way to go, Em.....Oh yeah, and has anyone seen the cover of the Voice this week?

2) I had a great visit with Seth, who was in town this weekend. We had a fun little soiree for him on Friday night. While I almost didn't make it to my own party because I worked so late, lot's of fun was had and lots of drinks (whiskey in my case) were consumed. The best part was when it evolved (or devolved, depending on your point of view) into a small dance party with the last seven guests on the sticky floor of our living room. Prince will do that to a party every time!

3) I'm very into the new live Bright Eyes album, "Motion Sickness." It was taped during last winter's tour for "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning," his more acoustic, countryish album. Sadly missing from the disc though is "I Must Belong Somewhere," the new song he debuted on that tour that hasn't been released yet. Listening to "Motion Sickness" reminded me how much I loved that Bright Eyes show that Adam took me to the day after my birthday and how much I loved that new song. It took like an hour of my time today, but I did manage to track down a version online (from some Italian Pearl Jam fan site?? Weird.) and I haven't stopped listening to it. I know people are always saying that Conor is "the new Bob Dylan," but I think that this track is his most Bob-like song yet. It's a litany screamed and sung over his insistent acoustic strum. I'm including the lyrics below because they are so great and I thought they would encourage you all to go find this non-album track.

Leave the bright blue door on the white-washed wall.
Leave the death ledger under city hall.
Leave the joyful air and that rubber ball today.

Leave the lilac print on the linen sheet.
Leave the bird you killed at your father's feet.
Let the sideways rain in the crooked street remain.

Leave whimpering dog in his cold kennel.
Leave the dead starlet on her pedestal.
Leave the acid kids in their green fishbowls today.

Leave the sad guitar in its hard-shell case.
Leave the worried look on your lover's face.
Let the orange embers in the fireplace remain.

Cause everything must belong somewhere.
The train off in the distance, bicycle chained to the stairs.
Everything must belong somewhere.
I know that now, that's why I'm staying here.

Leave the ocean's roar in the turquoise shell.
Leave the widower in his private hell.
Leave the liberty in that broken bell today.

Leave the epic poem on its yellowed page.
Leave the gray macaw in his covered cage.
Let the traveling band on the interstate remain.

Cause everything must belong somewhere.
Sound-stage in California, televisions in Times Square.
Everything must belong somewhere.
I know that now, that's why I'm staying here.
Yeah I know that now that's why I'm staying here.

Leave the secret talks on the trundle bed.
Leave the garden tools in the rusted shed.
Leave those bad ideas in your troubled head today.

Leave the restless ghost in his old hotel.
Leave the homeless man in his cardboard cell.
Let the painted horse on the carousel remain.

Cause everything must belong somewhere.
Just like the gold around her finger and the silver in his hair.
Yeah, everything must belong somewhere.
I know that now, that's why I'm staying here.
I know that now, that's why I'm staying here.

In truth, the forrest hears each sound.
Each blade of grass as it lies down.
The world requires no audience.
no witnesses, no witnesses.

Leave the old town drunk on his wooden stool.
Leave the autumn leaves in the swimming pool.
Leave the poor black child in his crumbling school today.

Leave novelist in his daydream tomb.
Leave the scientist in his rubic's cube.
Let true genius in the padded room remain.

Leave horses hair on the slanted bow.
Leave the slot machines on the riverboat.
Leave the cauliflower in the casserole today.

Leave the hot, bright trash in the shopping malls.
Leave the hawks of war in their capitals.
Let the organ's moan in the cathedral remain.

Cause everything must belong somewhere.
They locked the devil in the basement, threw God up into the air.
Yeah, everything must belong somewhere.
You know it's true, I wish you'd leave me here.
You know it's true, why don't you leave me here?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Don't eat too much turkey and save some stuffing leftovers for me!

Don't You Forget About Me

How could I have left these out??

Favorite new TV show: My tv watching lineup is pretty set (Grey's Anatomy on Sunday, Arrested Development--RIP--on Mondays, Gilmore Girls on Tuesdays, Lost on Wednesdays, and the OC on Thursday) and I clearly do not need to get into any more shows, but the other night I stumbled upon the N's hourlong drama, "South of Nowhere," about a family of multi-racial kids who move from Ohio to LA. And, though I hate to admit it, it is REALLY good. The girl who plays the main character, Spencer, is beautiful and age appropriate (as in, she's played by an actual teenager who is a shockingly good actress). The show looks really good and, despite appearing on the N--a kid's channel, features some really racy/controversial storylines. Already Spencer thinks she might be in love with her bisexual best friend. Check it out, it's on Friday nights, but the N reruns the week's shows at nine almost every night during the week.


Favorite new book: Indecision by Benjamin Kunkel. I know I'm clearly not the first person to discover the ultimate amazingness of this book (after all Kunkel made the Rolling Stone Hot List last month!) but I feel like this book was written just for me. I haven't read a fictional novel with a protagonist that I so related to in, I don't know, forever. And, aside from the fact that I have sort of fallen in love with the author's voice and now want to meet him and make him mine, I am really moved by the way that he has sneakily worked in politics and globalization into his late-twenty-something, faux-memoir. Don't be put off by the hipster cover art (like that of "Everything is Illuminated"). This book is amazing: post-modern, ironic yet earnest, political, slacker-y.....I don't want to keep reading it because I'm afraid of finishing it. Then it will be over.

These are a few of my favorite things

Favorite new beauty product: Origins Cocoa Therapy. It is a super thick (like it looks like it is in solid form in the jar) cream that makes your skin feel soft like cashmere. I thought I wasn't going to like the smell because it is REALLY chocolatey (and, while I love the taste of chocolate the smell of cocoa is kind of dry and cloying) but it is actually kind of awesome. And it makes a nice bottom note to all of my wintery perfumes. I know I'm too broke to buy expensive and unnecessary lotions from origins but one of my friends from work is also freelancing on a beauty project and when we all went out for drinks together last week she brought a huge shopping bag full of top of the line products. I got like a whole origins skincare line too! Meeting other smart, funny (and hooked up!) freelancers in the best part of my job.

Favorite New York City road: The FDR. I have a newfound obsession with the highway that runs up the east side. When I finish work late at night on Mondays and get to take car service home, I always tell the driver to take the FDR down to Houston. This is partially because it is way faster than flying down Fifth or Second Avenues. But I've also really come to look forward to that drive. You have a great view of the Brooklyn waterfront, but my real favorite thing about the FDR is staring in the windows of all of the buildings that but up against the highway. You can look right into rooms and offices at Bellevue, so-called luxury apartments (though I don't know how luxurious it would be to have the FDR traffic blowing past your bedroom window all the time), the big overlit Con Ed building (whose glass facade is only like 2 stories high), and the cluser of sad forboding housing projects. I have always had a weird New York fascination with peering into windows to see what different apartments look like (Would I want to live here? Would I decorate like that?), but I'm especially intregued by any window that looks upon a dirty highway. Especially since so many of those buildings are hospitals (I see Bellevue, the VA, and NYU Medical Center on my drive). I know some might prefer the scenery down Fifth, but nothing beats the weirdness of the FDR for me.

Favorite Outlet Mall: Woodbury Commons. Emily drove a bitchen' new luxury car up to the outlets on Saturday and I had such a good time with my journalism school girls. I had been warned by Adam about how amazing the selection was at Woodbury (he apparantly bought some great Prada suit there last time) and my mother crowed that it was the sister mall to Cabazon in Palm Springs (which we love to spend a day at when we visit the grandparents). Luckily, as I'm broke, I managed to spend just about 60 dollars on sweaters at the Gap (which seems kinds of dumb given the range of stores there), but I felt like I did some good window shopping and can still sort of afford to pay my rent. Plus it was a great weekend to get out of town as we got to peep at some beautiful leaves upstate. Is anyone else kinda grossed out that the reason the leaves don't change here in NYC is because of the overabundance of carbon monoxide?

Favorite Recent Celebrity Sighting: Ryan Adams at Veselka. Man, I seem to always see him there. (Last time I had to text Adam to tell him to hurry his late ass up so he wouldn't miss him!) I chose a seat behind where he was sitting at the counter, enjoying a BLT and some soup. I realize that reads as a stalkerish comment, but I was much more restrained than the freakshow guy sitting near me who, as he left, went up to Ryan, patted him on the back and said something like, "How's it going, dude?" Ryan looked like he was gonna pee his pants. Can I just say how skinny he looked? I know the rumor is that he and Parker are broken up (which it definitely looked like when I saw him hitting on his waitress for 20 minutes!) and even though I'm not really into his new albums (they are too Greatful Dead twangy for me) I kinda feel like we should be together. Even with his mouth fungus. Seeing him in person again, reignited my flame.

Favorite News Story of the Week: I know that there were deadly tornadoes in the midwest and Plamegate continues, so I am very shallow for picking the following semi-story, but I'm sorry, I think it is fucking hilarious that there is a David Cross impersonator trolling the East Village for pussy. I swear the day that David Cross wrote into Gawker to denounce the guy I almost peed my pants while sitting at my computer. (Favorite part of Cross' denouncement: " I am truly very sorry if anything untoward or worse, unfunny, was done in my name. I will try to make it up to you if I can (hint, hint ladies). Sorry, that last thing was a crude and tasteless example of something this guy might say.")

(Speaking of David Cross....) Favorite Moment on Last Night's Arrested Development: I am forced to tape AD since I work Monday nights til late and I must say I am OVAH Charlize Theron's stupid plotline. (Could her accent be worse?) So I was kinda bummed when I got home from work last night around 3:30am and popped my tape in excitedly to be confronted with very Charlize-centric episodes. But anyone who didn't think that George Michael in a jet-pack fighting Tobias dressed as a mole while destroying Gob's miniature town in front of Japanese tourists wasn't the funniest fucking thing you've seen this season on the show then, sorry to tell you, but your sense of humor must've been surgically removed.

Favorite part of writing an article: Turning it in! Writing for me, though my chosen profession, is like going to the gym. I dread going, but once I'm there it's fine. The best part of going to the gym is leaving and feeling accomplished, too. Well, I just turned in my longest piece ever (it's also my first political piece since grad school). I was so freakin' worried about it and so now I just feel like celebrating. Details on when/where its running TK.