Do the Monster Mash

The week at a glance:

1) Though I had a crazy busy week at work and was sadly forced to miss most of "I Love the Eighties 3-D" (I am such a sucker for those shows), I've been catching up this weekend (thanks Vh-1, for constantly rerunning the same program over and over again!). The best part, so far, I can report is their in depth coverage of Billy Idol's "Mony Mony" during the 1987 show. Growing up, whenever that song was played at a middle school dance or someone's Bat Mitzvah the DJ always had to threaten to stop playing the song because all of us kids (obviously amped up on a lethal cocktail of hormones, sugar, and the childish joy of cursing) kept screaming, "Hey motherfucker, get laid, get fucked," during the synth line after, "Here she comes now singing Mony Mony." Anyway, that phenomenon has interested me for much of my adult life, as I've met people who grew up in Tennesee and California and Texas, who ALL did it. (I've also met a lot of people who looked at me like I was crazy when I queried them about their memories of "Mony Mony." Finally, someone is bringing this ritual out in the open. All of the commentators--from Ohioan Rachel Harris to Winnipeger Chris Jericho--admitted to chanting this dirty lyric in their different high schools and colleges. Who started that? Where did that come from? Why do we feel the need to yell obscenities during the Billy Idol cover (though never during the Tommy James and the Shondells original)?

2) This might go down as the worst Halloween on record for me. As many of you know, it is my favorite holiday and I take dressing up VERY seriously. This year, however, I did nothing. And tomorrow night, on actual Halloween, I'll be at work til 3 am. Well, that just means that I'm already amping up for my costumed birthday party. I did see some funny costumes yesterday though (in and among all of the douchebags dressed as either a)pimps, b)nuns, or c) naughty nurses/doctors/cops). I think my favorite was the guy who passed me on Houston dressed as Ali G.

3) I was reading New York magazine's review of "Shopgirl," a movie that I loved, and was disturbed by their description of Steve Martin as "middle aged." I mean, how many 120 year olds do you know? I also find it interesting that Steve Martin is middle aged at 60 (though he's been gray since forever) but female actresses like Diane Lane have been labeled "middle aged" (and hence, uncastable) since they were 35. I know that no one is surprised by Hollywood's ageism and different treatment of men and women, I'm just saying....

4) Netflix finally sent "Undeclared" and I highly recommend the series to everyone (especiallly anyone who is as big a fan of "Freaks and Geeks" as I am). I really only remember catching the show a couple of times when it was on Fox (even though I knew that I loved Paul Feig) and all I remember thinking about it at the time was "Gee that Charlie Hunnam is cute." But , mcuh like "Freaks and Geeks" captures the characters and feelings of high school in the most truthful way tv ever has (I mean to be truly honest about high school there would have had to have been more drugs and sex, but it was a network show and they came closer than anyone had before), "Undeclared" does a pretty good job of exploring college life. It has also made me a big Monica Keena fan (even though I saw her commentating on "I Love the Eighties 3-D" and she looked weird, like she'd had too much collegen or something). I can't wait for the other three discs to arrive.

5) I know the album came out a month ago, but I have been BAD about updating (does that make my Halloween costume "naughty blogger?") so it slipped through the cracks. Wolf Parade's album, "Apologies to the Queen Mary," is fucking great. It is really all I've listened to for the last four weeks. I realized the other day on my way to work as I listened to it on my iPod that I had learned all the lyrics without knowing it. They just crept into my brain, like through osmosis. THAT is how much I listen to this record. For those of you who haven't already heard it and become obsessive fans like me...... You know how every year the media creates a catchphrase with which to catagorize the sound of all of the similar new bands. In 2001/2 it was "The Return of Rock." In 2003/4, it was "The Neu New Wave." I haven't come up with a snappy moniker for this year's trend (though it must have something to do with a resurgence in popularity of Talking Heads), but Wolf Parade are at the forfront of its movement. They are joined by fellow Montrealers the Arcade Fire (whose expansive, emotionally cathartic sound is clearly related to Wolf Parade) and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (with whom they share a shambolic playfulness as well as similarly yelped vocals that owe a clear debt to David Byrne). There is a quirky throughline that runs between all of these bands. They use synths, but not in an icy New Wave way. They have propulsive drums, but rather than the clean, metronome-like sounds of post-punk, these rhythms are constantly threatening to break apart. There is something emotionally raw and sonically large about these records and, for the most part, they aren't ironic or detached unlike most popular indie rock. It feels refreshing and new (though musically they aren't using any kind of new technology or instrumentation or songwriting tecniques) partially because of its honesty. I mean the Strokes make great music, but there is something detached about them. And the White Stripes are great, but they are more theatrical (and frankly propogated on a lie). But these aren't pussy songwriters. Being honest and cathartic doesn't mean you have to only write wet blanket ballads. (Yeah, I'm talking to you, Coldplay!)

6) On Tuesday I went with my friend (who is a movie critic) from work to a movie screening. I feel bad even mentioning the name of the movie because it was so bad--no, saying it was "bad," is giving it too much credit, it was unprofessional and a total confusing trite mess--but it was cool to see a movie in a screening room like a professional journalist. The best part of this movie was the required Sports Training Montage, set to Europe's "The Final Countdown." It was my favorite part of the movie, not because it was a good montage (it was neither original nor funny), but because that song now always reminds me of "Arrested Development"'s Gob. While I was sitting in the screening room bewildered by this terribly written movie, I got a respite from feeling uncomfortable as I was reminded of Will Arnet dancing around onstage yelling at Buster. God damn that show is funny! Just thinking about it during a terrible movie is enough to make me laugh!

7) I'll end where I began....I really really must remove myself from the couch where I've been watching hours of "I Love the Eighties 3-D." I can tell I've been watching it for too long when I've developed crushes on every male commentator. I mean, I usually have love for Michael Ian Black, the Modern Humorist guys (whom Shaya and I want to double date--I know, I know, Shaya, you get the brown one!), and Donal Logue (who hasn't really been featured in this series), but now even Chris Booker (formerly of Entertainment Tonight!) is starting to look good to me. Pick up the remote, Rebecca, and step away from the TV.

Goodbye to you!

Long time, no speak folks! Sorry, I've been so freakin' busy.

I would just like to take this opportunity to denounce the Killers. It pains me, but I have to do it. I have had a full bouleversement of my feelings for them. I mean if you asked me two years ago (to the day, practically) what I thought of them, I would have been their biggest supporter. I was telling everyone that I knew how great their demos were and how lively their show was at Don Hills (the night they got signed) and how big the band was going to be when their album finally dropped. And, though I must admit that I overplayed most of their songs before the album was even out, I would still be able to get behind them and their eyeliner-heavy, glammed out new wave but (and yeah, I'm talking to you, Brandon Flowers!) I have had enough with their fucking attitude. Picking on the Bravery was bad enough (I mean, they are such an easy target!) and now they are picking on Fall Out Boy (which I wouldn't blame them for if they were speaking out against how shitty their music is, but Brandon is fucking whining about how FOB--who are their labelmates--got more attention or money from Island/Def Jam)! Plus everytime I read an interview with Brandon, he is acting like a sissy prima donna. You would think that a band as new (with as precarious a future--hey even Kris Kross had one hit album!) as the Killers would be stoked to be included in the Spin 20th Anniversary issue as one of the 20 Greatest Innovators (which, even a fan of the band would argue, is not true. I mean their songs are good, but there is NOTHING remotely inovative about their derrivative sound/look.) alongside true innovators like Ian MacKaye and Chuck D. However, Brandon took that opportunity to talk about how he wants "people to compare us to the Beatles," and how he "spends too much money on Dior jackets." Ugh! That is so not cool. He just sounds like a stuck up jack-ass. I've put up with his gross behavior for two years now because I was in love with his songs, but now I'm just chalking him up to a pretty boy Mormon who apes the Cars. (PS: Have you ever heard him give an interview where he doesn't name check the Cars or U2? Dude, there are other MUCH better band!) So....I declare it now. I'm over them. Also, have you noticed that every female-to-male transsexual that you see looks like Brandon? I did a double take the other day on the subway thinking I saw him and then I realized that it was just a young, butch girl. Brandon, is that the look you are purposely going for? Young, baby-faced, masculine girl?

I'm on the dark side of the road

I can't decide if it is a blessing or a curse (well, as much as anything can be one or the other to someone who doesn't believe in god) that it is so rainy and cold outside while I feel so awful. Normally this finally-chilly October weather would be my favorite climate of year, thus making me the only person I know who is in an awesome mood during terribly depressing weather. Also, since I'm a wallower, when I do get depressed about something I usually like to have reason to sit around inside and sulk and it is doubly theatrical if mother nature seems to be as sad as I am. So, that said, I should be like a pig in shit with the pouring rain and gray skies and the chilly wind because I feel so gray and cold myself, but I feel too "blah" to even really enjoy being cozy inside in flannel pajamas, drinking tea, and listening to sad, autumnal music after taking a bubble bath. (And yes, that is exactly what I've done with my day so far. I'm kinda a waste of space today.) I'm starting to wonder if I should fast tomorrow for Yom Kippour. I mean I am practically the definition of a non-practicing Jew (unless "practicing" entails eating lox on my bagel), but I'm feeling like there might be a lot of stuff that I should repent for this year and maybe that would make me feel better. Plus, it is always empowering to prove to yourself that you can actually go a whole day without eating. (Note: I will be brushing my teeth though. There is no excuse to for poor dental hygene and smelling bad just cuz you aren't "eating and drinking.")

Well that was a terribly cheery read for those of you who bothered to enter my site on this dark and stormy day. Sorry that I don't have more enticing thoughts to share. I wish I could work up the energy to want to describe to you how nice my weekend was with my best friend from high school who was in town from LA. I wish I felt like relaying all of the yummy details of the meals we shared (but I'm in such a crap mood that all I can remember are the ridiculous lines we had to wait in at each restaurant). I wish I had some fun upcoming plans to share with you (but my only upcoming plan today is to write some articles I've put off and to take a nap).

You know what I can share with you? The perfect songs to listen to when you feel like I feel right now. When it's fall and the leaves are brown and wet and the trees are getting bare and the air is damp and chilly and you're feeling sorry for yourself. That's right! I might not be great with advice of how to cheer yourself up, but boy do I know how to create a mood and milk it for all it's worth.

Retown's Depressing Fall Mix
-See the Sky About To Rain: Neil Young (Yeah, it's a little obvious with references to the weather, but it is honestly one of the most perfect songs ever written about touring the open roads of America and it is definitely my favorite Neil Young song. The coupling of the resonant, quiet organ line and the mourning slide guitar is fucking heartbreaking. As are lyrics like, "Some are bound for happiness, some are bound to glory, Some are bound to live with less, who can tell your story?")

-Here Comes a Regular: The Replacements (One of the things I LOVE about the 'Mats is that their songs straddle genres. They can play stupid, bombastic drunkard punks--which they sometimes were--and writers of heartbroken everyman sort-of ballads. Like the same band that played "Gary's Got a Boner" played this emotional acoustic song with a STRING SECTION. That's fucking amazing to me! And there is nothing remotely sissy about Paul Westerberg's naked, emotional lyricism. His bruised voice singing lyrics about being left behind and lonely and drinking that away is heartbreaking in the most manly way. Especially over those repeated guitar chords that are like a version of "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" higher up the scale. I know that a lot of Replacements fans are anti-"Tim," their major label debut that features this track. But stop the hatin' people! This is the sound of musical maturity. And "Here Comes a Regular" has some of the best barroom poetry every put to record on it.)

-Pictures of Success:Rilo Kiley (I'm sort of having a resurgence of this song. And it's not just cuz Jenny Lewis sings lines like "They say California is like a black hole." HA! It's off their scrappy debut and it is rawer than the more polished pop of their recent efforts. Though the song is LOOOOOng--like almost seven minutes--and lyrically opaque, there is something about the song's opening where each instrument gets gradually added and layered over each other--first the repetitive guitar pluck, then the thudding drums like footsteps, then another plucked guitar line that mirrors the first, though it's higher--and then everything cuts out before Jenny's clarion voice starts in, that gets me every time. Plus the whole song seems to be about some sort of trip where "the bills keep changing color" and "Mexico can fucking wait" and yet is preocupied with what happens "when you're dead." The song rises and falls so many times, building up to and then away from a chorus of "I'm ready to go" (to a new city? to die?) and even has a horn part. So so so good.)

-Tous Les Garcons et Les Filles De Mon Age-Francoise Hardy (I am seriously in love with Francoise Hardy, but I promise that even if you don't speak French, you'll be charmed by her acoustic pop songs. I remember my French teacher in middle school playing this song for me and it still makes me feel like I'm about 13 every time I hear it. The lyrics, roughly translated say, "All the boys and girls my age, walk down the street two by two, all the boys and girls my age, know well what makes them happy. And their eyes in each others eyes and their hands in each others hands. They are in love, with no fear of tomorrow. Yes, but me, I'm alone, in the street, my heart in sorrow. Yes, but me, I'm alone, no one loves me." And it has such an old-timey early-Sixties chord progression--it's just charming.)

-In My Life: Johnny Cash (Ok, so this one is really only for when you're feeling mawkish cuz, I don't know about you, but I can't hear Johnny's whizened barritone over simple guitar and piano lines singing about "there are places I remember all my life, though some have changed, some forever not for better" without crying. But I really really like those albums he recorded with Rick Ruben at the end of his life. They are so spare that the honest emotion of Cash's voice really brings these standard pop songs to life. If this doesn't move you, you have no heart.)

-You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go: Bob Dylan (There are a lot of "sadder" more ballad-y Dylan songs out there, but this track off Blood on the Tracks, is arguably one of his most nakedly confessional. The record was written after the dissolution of his marriage and it is the sound of someone's heart actually breaking. There are a lot of really sad songs on the album, but this one is always the most poignant to me because this one is about really loving someone and knowing that it isn't working out ("If something's not right, it's wrong," he sings) but not hating them or being bitter--actually still knowing what is great about that other person. Angry breakup songs are universal, but there is nothing quite so sad as an unwilling breakup song. I dare you to not get misty when his craggy voice sings, "I'll look for you in old Honolulu, San Francisco, Ashtabula, Yer gonna have to leave me now, I know. But I'll see you in the sky above, In the tall grass, in the ones I love, Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go." For those of you who like adult contemporary stars, the Shawn Colvin cover is pretty freakin' great too!)

-First Day of My Life: Bright Eyes (Speaking of "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome..." this song, the first time I heard it, sounded like a blatant rip off to me. I wish had a better ear for for exact notes, but it sounds like the exact same chord structure on an acoustic guitar to me. But instead of Bob's nasal whinny lamenting a the end of a relationship, here we have Conor's choked up throaty quaver celebrating the begining of one. This is the sort of song that I think all women dream of someone writing about them. "I think I was blind before I met you!" C'mon. If I didn't think he was absolutely adorable and had seen him with my own two eyes, I'd think he was a perfect figment of some woman's imaginiation. Sort of like JT Leroy! Except without the gay hustler/AIDS/ self-abuse stuff. DID YOU READ THAT?! So effed up!)

Alright, I think that is a sufficently sob-enducing list. I've gotta go and make something to take to Carrie's party now. I'm thinking bean dip.

Let me ask you one question

Yeah, yeah, I stole the following from Karina's blog, after she stole it from MySpace (which I won't join because a-it makes me feel old, b-it feels like a version of craigslist's casual encounters, but with photos, and c-i already have enough trouble with fucking Friendster and their new "see-who-viewed-your-profile" option that was so traumatizing that my roommate woke me up at 3 a.m. to show it to me.), but I really felt like writing and didn't feel like devoting an entire post to how fucking amazing that "Breaking Bonaduce" show is and, since I don't have much else going on these days, you're getting a questionaire. Plus, I am frankly a little jealous of all of you bloggers with overflowing comment boxes. Perhaps this will inspire you to add answers to your favorite questions in the comments section.

1. What is your own most favorite nickname?
It's a tie between B. (because that is what my closest friends from high school have always called me) and Re (because that is what my dad always called me and I think it's cute that Jen and Elizabeth resurrected that nickname).

2.What is your favorite illegal or perscription substance?
Pot? But that's only cuz I don't have access to the good perscriptions.

3. What is your favorite hard liquor or cocktail?
Whiskey on the rocks. (Yeah, I know the really hardcore drink it neat....I'm working on it!)

3. Ever cried at a show? What song/ artist was it?
Bright Eyes at Field Day (June 7, 2003) on the outdoor second stage in the POURING rain. My own personal waterworks began during (what was then called) "One Foot In Front of The Other."

4. Did you love the first person you ever slept with?
No.

5. Funniest name you ever gave to a pet:
I dunno. Is it funny that my fluffy black cat was named Hendrix? Or is it funny that the patrician-looking Siamese we had growing up was named Princeton?

6. When was the last time you blushed? Why?
Dude, I am a champion blusher. Just mention the name of a boy I like and I turn bright red.

7. Your most favorite song right this second?
Right this second? Either "Punks in the Beerlight" by the Silver Jews or "Right to Lite Tonight" by Blood on the Wall.

8.Your most favorite work of art?
I know it is a cliche but seeing Guernica in person was a moving experience. It is so fucking huge, it's like the painting envelopes you.

9. Last movie you cried at?
I got a little misty at "Everything is Illuminated," but the last time I wept (like big, fat tears rolling down my cheeks) was during "Shopgirl." (When it actually opens and you all see it, you'll wonder why. It's not really a tearjerker. But it just really spoke to me personally.)

10. What is your pen name?
Uh, I write under my actual name. (Which I won't write here because I don't want this blog to pop up in a google search of my name.)

11. If you could transport yourself and one person to any City in the world right now, where would you go and who would you take?
I have a bug up my ass about going to Iceland right now, so I guess Reykjavic. Who would I take? My sister, I guess. I don't get to see her enough and that girl knows how to have a good time. She could have fun at a funeral.

12. What kind of perfume/ cologne do you wear?
Depending on the season: Fresh's Fig Apricot, Anna Sui, Keihl's Musk, Benefit's Maybe Baby.

13. Why do you wear it?
Because they alternate sweet and sexy.

14. What scent are you most attracted to?
in general: baking bread, the ocean.
on a man: whiskey and sweat.

15. Who is your favorite designer?
The Salvation Army? The Gap? Who can afford designer duds on a freelancer salary? I like looking at Marc Jacobs stuff in magazines though and dreaming about affording and fitting into his clothes.

16. Who is your favorite historic icon?
It's a tie between JFK and Nico.

17. What was the last fake name you used?
I can't remember the last time I used a fake name. If I was going to use one, it'd be Isabel.

18. What is your favorite song to dance to?
It's still "Banquet" by Bloc Party, after over a year!

19. What is your favorite kareoke song to preform?
"Come to My Window," "One More Try," "Heartbreaker," "Gloria"

20. What do you listen to while you clean?
I have a mix I play on my iPod to try and amp myself for my least favorite tasks (like dishwashing) that has OutKast, Prince, Jay-Z, Spoon, and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah on it.

21. What is your favorite music to listen to when you wake up or are lying in bed?
I don't like ANYTHING when I wake up (I'm cranky in the morning), but I like listening to Francoise Hardy when I'm lying in bed at night.

22. What is your favorite musical insturment?
bass guitar

23. What is your favorite food to cook for friends?
chicken pot pie

24. Favorite anime?
I couldn't even name any anime, let alone one I liked.

25. What are you going to be for Halloween?
Working. It's a total bummer, as it is my favorite holiday.

26. Favorite art supply?
I don't make art.

27.Favorite pen?
One that works?

28. Favorite food seasoning?
Fresh basil, cuz it is the main ingredient in pesto (the necter of the gods).

29. What is the sexiest tatoo youve seen on another person?
I don't know. I do like anything that shows off a man's nice forearm, though.

30. What is your favorite NPR interview?
I don't listen to the radio.

31. Have you ever cried while watching "Home Makeover, Extreme Home Addition?"
I have never watched it. I hate shows like that....and Ty Pennington.

32. Where do you want to live, ideally and realisticlly?
I don't know that I could ever leave NYC, it is my ideal. But I do dream about moving to San Francisco, Portland, or London.

33. What was the last play you saw?
Julius Caesar with Denzel. He wasn't very good.

34. What is your favorite element?
Lithium

35. Who is your favorite Simpson Character?
Ralph Wiggum ("Dying tickles.")

36. Who is your favorite Muppet Show charecter?
Janis

37. What was your favorite toy when you were 6?
My brown and orange Fisher Price record player on which I would play the Sound of Music cast recording and act out all the parts.

Radio on the TV

I'm peeing my pants! I just read on Pitchfork that on December 1st, the White Stripes will be the first ever musical guests on the Daily Show! OMIGOD! Jon Stewart and Jack White together? That's like the perfect threesome of every woman (and some men) that I know. I wonder what Meg thinks about the Tom Delay scandal?