I'm on the dark side of the road
I can't decide if it is a blessing or a curse (well, as much as anything can be one or the other to someone who doesn't believe in god) that it is so rainy and cold outside while I feel so awful. Normally this finally-chilly October weather would be my favorite climate of year, thus making me the only person I know who is in an awesome mood during terribly depressing weather. Also, since I'm a wallower, when I do get depressed about something I usually like to have reason to sit around inside and sulk and it is doubly theatrical if mother nature seems to be as sad as I am. So, that said, I should be like a pig in shit with the pouring rain and gray skies and the chilly wind because I feel so gray and cold myself, but I feel too "blah" to even really enjoy being cozy inside in flannel pajamas, drinking tea, and listening to sad, autumnal music after taking a bubble bath. (And yes, that is exactly what I've done with my day so far. I'm kinda a waste of space today.) I'm starting to wonder if I should fast tomorrow for Yom Kippour. I mean I am practically the definition of a non-practicing Jew (unless "practicing" entails eating lox on my bagel), but I'm feeling like there might be a lot of stuff that I should repent for this year and maybe that would make me feel better. Plus, it is always empowering to prove to yourself that you can actually go a whole day without eating. (Note: I will be brushing my teeth though. There is no excuse to for poor dental hygene and smelling bad just cuz you aren't "eating and drinking.")
Well that was a terribly cheery read for those of you who bothered to enter my site on this dark and stormy day. Sorry that I don't have more enticing thoughts to share. I wish I could work up the energy to want to describe to you how nice my weekend was with my best friend from high school who was in town from LA. I wish I felt like relaying all of the yummy details of the meals we shared (but I'm in such a crap mood that all I can remember are the ridiculous lines we had to wait in at each restaurant). I wish I had some fun upcoming plans to share with you (but my only upcoming plan today is to write some articles I've put off and to take a nap).
You know what I can share with you? The perfect songs to listen to when you feel like I feel right now. When it's fall and the leaves are brown and wet and the trees are getting bare and the air is damp and chilly and you're feeling sorry for yourself. That's right! I might not be great with advice of how to cheer yourself up, but boy do I know how to create a mood and milk it for all it's worth.
Retown's Depressing Fall Mix
-See the Sky About To Rain: Neil Young (Yeah, it's a little obvious with references to the weather, but it is honestly one of the most perfect songs ever written about touring the open roads of America and it is definitely my favorite Neil Young song. The coupling of the resonant, quiet organ line and the mourning slide guitar is fucking heartbreaking. As are lyrics like, "Some are bound for happiness, some are bound to glory, Some are bound to live with less, who can tell your story?")
-Here Comes a Regular: The Replacements (One of the things I LOVE about the 'Mats is that their songs straddle genres. They can play stupid, bombastic drunkard punks--which they sometimes were--and writers of heartbroken everyman sort-of ballads. Like the same band that played "Gary's Got a Boner" played this emotional acoustic song with a STRING SECTION. That's fucking amazing to me! And there is nothing remotely sissy about Paul Westerberg's naked, emotional lyricism. His bruised voice singing lyrics about being left behind and lonely and drinking that away is heartbreaking in the most manly way. Especially over those repeated guitar chords that are like a version of "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" higher up the scale. I know that a lot of Replacements fans are anti-"Tim," their major label debut that features this track. But stop the hatin' people! This is the sound of musical maturity. And "Here Comes a Regular" has some of the best barroom poetry every put to record on it.)
-Pictures of Success:Rilo Kiley (I'm sort of having a resurgence of this song. And it's not just cuz Jenny Lewis sings lines like "They say California is like a black hole." HA! It's off their scrappy debut and it is rawer than the more polished pop of their recent efforts. Though the song is LOOOOOng--like almost seven minutes--and lyrically opaque, there is something about the song's opening where each instrument gets gradually added and layered over each other--first the repetitive guitar pluck, then the thudding drums like footsteps, then another plucked guitar line that mirrors the first, though it's higher--and then everything cuts out before Jenny's clarion voice starts in, that gets me every time. Plus the whole song seems to be about some sort of trip where "the bills keep changing color" and "Mexico can fucking wait" and yet is preocupied with what happens "when you're dead." The song rises and falls so many times, building up to and then away from a chorus of "I'm ready to go" (to a new city? to die?) and even has a horn part. So so so good.)
-Tous Les Garcons et Les Filles De Mon Age-Francoise Hardy (I am seriously in love with Francoise Hardy, but I promise that even if you don't speak French, you'll be charmed by her acoustic pop songs. I remember my French teacher in middle school playing this song for me and it still makes me feel like I'm about 13 every time I hear it. The lyrics, roughly translated say, "All the boys and girls my age, walk down the street two by two, all the boys and girls my age, know well what makes them happy. And their eyes in each others eyes and their hands in each others hands. They are in love, with no fear of tomorrow. Yes, but me, I'm alone, in the street, my heart in sorrow. Yes, but me, I'm alone, no one loves me." And it has such an old-timey early-Sixties chord progression--it's just charming.)
-In My Life: Johnny Cash (Ok, so this one is really only for when you're feeling mawkish cuz, I don't know about you, but I can't hear Johnny's whizened barritone over simple guitar and piano lines singing about "there are places I remember all my life, though some have changed, some forever not for better" without crying. But I really really like those albums he recorded with Rick Ruben at the end of his life. They are so spare that the honest emotion of Cash's voice really brings these standard pop songs to life. If this doesn't move you, you have no heart.)
-You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go: Bob Dylan (There are a lot of "sadder" more ballad-y Dylan songs out there, but this track off Blood on the Tracks, is arguably one of his most nakedly confessional. The record was written after the dissolution of his marriage and it is the sound of someone's heart actually breaking. There are a lot of really sad songs on the album, but this one is always the most poignant to me because this one is about really loving someone and knowing that it isn't working out ("If something's not right, it's wrong," he sings) but not hating them or being bitter--actually still knowing what is great about that other person. Angry breakup songs are universal, but there is nothing quite so sad as an unwilling breakup song. I dare you to not get misty when his craggy voice sings, "I'll look for you in old Honolulu, San Francisco, Ashtabula, Yer gonna have to leave me now, I know. But I'll see you in the sky above, In the tall grass, in the ones I love, Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go." For those of you who like adult contemporary stars, the Shawn Colvin cover is pretty freakin' great too!)
-First Day of My Life: Bright Eyes (Speaking of "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome..." this song, the first time I heard it, sounded like a blatant rip off to me. I wish had a better ear for for exact notes, but it sounds like the exact same chord structure on an acoustic guitar to me. But instead of Bob's nasal whinny lamenting a the end of a relationship, here we have Conor's choked up throaty quaver celebrating the begining of one. This is the sort of song that I think all women dream of someone writing about them. "I think I was blind before I met you!" C'mon. If I didn't think he was absolutely adorable and had seen him with my own two eyes, I'd think he was a perfect figment of some woman's imaginiation. Sort of like JT Leroy! Except without the gay hustler/AIDS/ self-abuse stuff. DID YOU READ THAT?! So effed up!)
Alright, I think that is a sufficently sob-enducing list. I've gotta go and make something to take to Carrie's party now. I'm thinking bean dip.
Well that was a terribly cheery read for those of you who bothered to enter my site on this dark and stormy day. Sorry that I don't have more enticing thoughts to share. I wish I could work up the energy to want to describe to you how nice my weekend was with my best friend from high school who was in town from LA. I wish I felt like relaying all of the yummy details of the meals we shared (but I'm in such a crap mood that all I can remember are the ridiculous lines we had to wait in at each restaurant). I wish I had some fun upcoming plans to share with you (but my only upcoming plan today is to write some articles I've put off and to take a nap).
You know what I can share with you? The perfect songs to listen to when you feel like I feel right now. When it's fall and the leaves are brown and wet and the trees are getting bare and the air is damp and chilly and you're feeling sorry for yourself. That's right! I might not be great with advice of how to cheer yourself up, but boy do I know how to create a mood and milk it for all it's worth.
Retown's Depressing Fall Mix
-See the Sky About To Rain: Neil Young (Yeah, it's a little obvious with references to the weather, but it is honestly one of the most perfect songs ever written about touring the open roads of America and it is definitely my favorite Neil Young song. The coupling of the resonant, quiet organ line and the mourning slide guitar is fucking heartbreaking. As are lyrics like, "Some are bound for happiness, some are bound to glory, Some are bound to live with less, who can tell your story?")
-Here Comes a Regular: The Replacements (One of the things I LOVE about the 'Mats is that their songs straddle genres. They can play stupid, bombastic drunkard punks--which they sometimes were--and writers of heartbroken everyman sort-of ballads. Like the same band that played "Gary's Got a Boner" played this emotional acoustic song with a STRING SECTION. That's fucking amazing to me! And there is nothing remotely sissy about Paul Westerberg's naked, emotional lyricism. His bruised voice singing lyrics about being left behind and lonely and drinking that away is heartbreaking in the most manly way. Especially over those repeated guitar chords that are like a version of "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" higher up the scale. I know that a lot of Replacements fans are anti-"Tim," their major label debut that features this track. But stop the hatin' people! This is the sound of musical maturity. And "Here Comes a Regular" has some of the best barroom poetry every put to record on it.)
-Pictures of Success:Rilo Kiley (I'm sort of having a resurgence of this song. And it's not just cuz Jenny Lewis sings lines like "They say California is like a black hole." HA! It's off their scrappy debut and it is rawer than the more polished pop of their recent efforts. Though the song is LOOOOOng--like almost seven minutes--and lyrically opaque, there is something about the song's opening where each instrument gets gradually added and layered over each other--first the repetitive guitar pluck, then the thudding drums like footsteps, then another plucked guitar line that mirrors the first, though it's higher--and then everything cuts out before Jenny's clarion voice starts in, that gets me every time. Plus the whole song seems to be about some sort of trip where "the bills keep changing color" and "Mexico can fucking wait" and yet is preocupied with what happens "when you're dead." The song rises and falls so many times, building up to and then away from a chorus of "I'm ready to go" (to a new city? to die?) and even has a horn part. So so so good.)
-Tous Les Garcons et Les Filles De Mon Age-Francoise Hardy (I am seriously in love with Francoise Hardy, but I promise that even if you don't speak French, you'll be charmed by her acoustic pop songs. I remember my French teacher in middle school playing this song for me and it still makes me feel like I'm about 13 every time I hear it. The lyrics, roughly translated say, "All the boys and girls my age, walk down the street two by two, all the boys and girls my age, know well what makes them happy. And their eyes in each others eyes and their hands in each others hands. They are in love, with no fear of tomorrow. Yes, but me, I'm alone, in the street, my heart in sorrow. Yes, but me, I'm alone, no one loves me." And it has such an old-timey early-Sixties chord progression--it's just charming.)
-In My Life: Johnny Cash (Ok, so this one is really only for when you're feeling mawkish cuz, I don't know about you, but I can't hear Johnny's whizened barritone over simple guitar and piano lines singing about "there are places I remember all my life, though some have changed, some forever not for better" without crying. But I really really like those albums he recorded with Rick Ruben at the end of his life. They are so spare that the honest emotion of Cash's voice really brings these standard pop songs to life. If this doesn't move you, you have no heart.)
-You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go: Bob Dylan (There are a lot of "sadder" more ballad-y Dylan songs out there, but this track off Blood on the Tracks, is arguably one of his most nakedly confessional. The record was written after the dissolution of his marriage and it is the sound of someone's heart actually breaking. There are a lot of really sad songs on the album, but this one is always the most poignant to me because this one is about really loving someone and knowing that it isn't working out ("If something's not right, it's wrong," he sings) but not hating them or being bitter--actually still knowing what is great about that other person. Angry breakup songs are universal, but there is nothing quite so sad as an unwilling breakup song. I dare you to not get misty when his craggy voice sings, "I'll look for you in old Honolulu, San Francisco, Ashtabula, Yer gonna have to leave me now, I know. But I'll see you in the sky above, In the tall grass, in the ones I love, Yer gonna make me lonesome when you go." For those of you who like adult contemporary stars, the Shawn Colvin cover is pretty freakin' great too!)
-First Day of My Life: Bright Eyes (Speaking of "You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome..." this song, the first time I heard it, sounded like a blatant rip off to me. I wish had a better ear for for exact notes, but it sounds like the exact same chord structure on an acoustic guitar to me. But instead of Bob's nasal whinny lamenting a the end of a relationship, here we have Conor's choked up throaty quaver celebrating the begining of one. This is the sort of song that I think all women dream of someone writing about them. "I think I was blind before I met you!" C'mon. If I didn't think he was absolutely adorable and had seen him with my own two eyes, I'd think he was a perfect figment of some woman's imaginiation. Sort of like JT Leroy! Except without the gay hustler/AIDS/ self-abuse stuff. DID YOU READ THAT?! So effed up!)
Alright, I think that is a sufficently sob-enducing list. I've gotta go and make something to take to Carrie's party now. I'm thinking bean dip.
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