I just can't look, it's killing me....
I can't believe I actually stayed home tonight on purpose to watch these effing VMAs. Maybe I'm just too old for this nonsense. I'm no longer in MTVs demographic, so perhaps it makes sense that I'm not enjoying this. But I don't think it's my old age that is making the VMAs painful.....They're just fucking boring. And, worse than that, when it's not boring, it is just plain embarassing. (In fact, since I'm watching them by myself and don't have anyone to scream to or give running snarky commentary to, I keep finding myself yelling a the TV or hiding my head in my shirt so I don't have to look directly at the trainwreck.)
I'm embarassed that "Diddy" keeps dancing. I'm embarassed that Hilary Duff and her scary ass teeth just said that she learned about Morrissey from Joel Madden. I'm embarassed that Kurt Loder was such a tool on the red carpet, calling Young Jeezy (who, by the way, I've never heard of) Little Jeezy and getting made fun of/corrected by Jay-Z. I'm embarassed by John Norris' outfit, which could be in the gay hall of fame (a purple, studded, t-shirt with ripped off sleeves????). I'm embarassed that I had to watch MC Hammer perform "Can't Touch This." I'm embarassed for the Killers, who looked monumentally bored, especially Brandon who has officially crossed over from being cute in eyeliner to looking like an underage rent boy wearing a tight tank top and too much bronzer. (PS: Mark, the moustache? Just say no!) I'm embarassed by the blatant, intrusive advertising, like Satern presenting highlights of the evening so far, ONE HOUR INTO THE SHOW, with clips I'd just seen, playing over a picture of a car or the "performances, presented by the Gap." I'm embarassed that it is taking each winner an hour to get to the stage to accept their award and that no one knows where to go. I'm embarassed that the Simpson sisters (those bastions of savvy) walked right past the microphone they were supposed to present at, so MTV just had to keep looping Jessica's horrible cover of "These Boots Are Made For Walking," until they stopped slapping fans' hands and backtracked towards their mark. I'm embarassed that, right now, Diddy is conducting an orchestra. I'm embarassed that Lil Kim has to talk about going away to jail while she's presenting an award (though I must say this is the most clothes I've ever seen her wear!). I was REALLY embarassed that R. Kelly came out and lip synched (BADLY, I might add), like, part 24 of "Trapped in a Closet," during which he played the part of his mistress's husband's boyfriend in a weirdly effeminate and homophobic manner.
The only thing making the show worth watching is that I've now developed the hugest crush on Kanye West. I mean, I always knew he was talented, but tonight, in his unbuttoned shirt with his white suit, he is fucking fine! Seriously, he is the best looking thing at that show. He, unlike the rest of these yahoos, doesn't even seem to be sweating. I hope his performance (which is still upcoming) is good and doesn't ruin this for me. He's like the only thing I'm looking forward to. (Ok, I admit, I kinda want to see if Mariah is gonna sing my jam.) I feel like I'm getting stupider every minute I watch this and yet I can't change the channel.
I'm embarassed that "Diddy" keeps dancing. I'm embarassed that Hilary Duff and her scary ass teeth just said that she learned about Morrissey from Joel Madden. I'm embarassed that Kurt Loder was such a tool on the red carpet, calling Young Jeezy (who, by the way, I've never heard of) Little Jeezy and getting made fun of/corrected by Jay-Z. I'm embarassed by John Norris' outfit, which could be in the gay hall of fame (a purple, studded, t-shirt with ripped off sleeves????). I'm embarassed that I had to watch MC Hammer perform "Can't Touch This." I'm embarassed for the Killers, who looked monumentally bored, especially Brandon who has officially crossed over from being cute in eyeliner to looking like an underage rent boy wearing a tight tank top and too much bronzer. (PS: Mark, the moustache? Just say no!) I'm embarassed by the blatant, intrusive advertising, like Satern presenting highlights of the evening so far, ONE HOUR INTO THE SHOW, with clips I'd just seen, playing over a picture of a car or the "performances, presented by the Gap." I'm embarassed that it is taking each winner an hour to get to the stage to accept their award and that no one knows where to go. I'm embarassed that the Simpson sisters (those bastions of savvy) walked right past the microphone they were supposed to present at, so MTV just had to keep looping Jessica's horrible cover of "These Boots Are Made For Walking," until they stopped slapping fans' hands and backtracked towards their mark. I'm embarassed that, right now, Diddy is conducting an orchestra. I'm embarassed that Lil Kim has to talk about going away to jail while she's presenting an award (though I must say this is the most clothes I've ever seen her wear!). I was REALLY embarassed that R. Kelly came out and lip synched (BADLY, I might add), like, part 24 of "Trapped in a Closet," during which he played the part of his mistress's husband's boyfriend in a weirdly effeminate and homophobic manner.
The only thing making the show worth watching is that I've now developed the hugest crush on Kanye West. I mean, I always knew he was talented, but tonight, in his unbuttoned shirt with his white suit, he is fucking fine! Seriously, he is the best looking thing at that show. He, unlike the rest of these yahoos, doesn't even seem to be sweating. I hope his performance (which is still upcoming) is good and doesn't ruin this for me. He's like the only thing I'm looking forward to. (Ok, I admit, I kinda want to see if Mariah is gonna sing my jam.) I feel like I'm getting stupider every minute I watch this and yet I can't change the channel.
2 Comments:
Ha, rebecca, I felt the exact same way way as you. On a slow monday morning, I was reading your blog and found myself saying, yes, yes,ditto, exactly. You know all those studies about siblings (usually twins) seperated at birth... this just proves that we are more alike than we tend to think.
I had the same thoughts, but three hours later due to the time change. Ok, what was John Norris wearing, you failed to mention the cut out back of his shirt, even more embarrassing than the ripped sleaves. Uh, same thing for the killers, what happened to the cute lead singer, all of a sudden he looked like a mini- billy joe? I don't even want to get started on Diddy and how the entire night was a narcissistic masterbation-fest to himself and all his glory. Oh, and Hilary Duff clearly needs to eat.
Just wanted to let you know, that I too, sat horrified (and alone) while I watched until I fell asleep on the couch cuz I couldn't take it anymore. Was MTV always this bad?
I DID notice that. Even though that button down couldn't fix that outfit. The whole thing was so bad. I was stoked that you commented though, Leah. (Might I add that I kind of think Billie Joe is kinda cute and way more hetero-looking than Brandon was last night!)
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