I always feel like somebody's watching me.
In honor of one of my favorite sites (www.overheardinnewyork.com) and in the hopes that I can take my mind of my impending doctor's appointment (I hate going to the doctor only slightly more than I hate rats crawling all over me while eating chicken on the bone after making out with Chris Parnell--so that should say something!), I thought I would share some of the best things I've overheard (or just heard) this week:
The roommate: (While calming me down that I'm not going to hell) Hell, schmell.....Hell is for red states.
Pimply, effeminate, underaged hipster to beautiful girl he was standing out of Welcome to the Johnsons with: I fucking love your voice now that you've lost it. You fucking sound like you've been smoking 10 packs of cigarettes a day since you were 7, which is so fucking sexy.
Kinda cute, tattooed stranger (who said faggot too much) sitting on my stoop who heard me say that I love Michael Pitt: Sorry, did you just say you "heart" him? That's bullshit. You're just scared. Admit it, you really, really like him.
Kinda cute, tattooed stranger (who said faggot too much) sitting on my stoop, after I explained that I wasn't talking about a guy I'm seeing, but a movie star: Nah, he's not a celebrity. I've never heard of him and I'm a man of the people.
Strangely NOT homeless guy, walking on Irving Place in a wife-beater, to the green parakeet he was carrying: You like it when we go to grandma's house, don't you? But first we have to stop and get us our sandwiches.
Dashing young man in a suit, on his cellphone in front of my office while I was smoking: Sometimes I like a hairy bush!
(The following are a collection of song lyrics that played on my ipod yesterday that I thought were funny, noteworthy, or just plain weird. Think of this as the "overheard on my ipod" section.)
Prince: Who's the funky drummer with the crooked little sticks, He might have better luck if he was drummin' with his dick.
(Seriously, this came on yesterday and I had never really HEARD this track before and I laughed out loud on the subway. This song also features the bitchin' line: "You can be the side effect, I'll be the dope." OBVS, Prince.....You always want to be the thing that gets you fucked up, not the lingering sexual side effects or the diarrhea or the incontinence!)
Fruit Bats: You hurt your foot rollerskating down by the bay, You lost your voice singing along to "Raspberry Beret."
(I'm sorry, how freakin' cute is this. He then goes on to say how much he adores her. That is exactly the type of relationship I'd want to be in--one where we rollerskate and sing along to Prince, though maybe not the above song, and it is so cute that it is almost vile.)
The Distillers: You think I'm a sucker you're fucking sick, the only thing i suck is my man's dick.
(My, that Josh Homme is a lucky man. Sorry Brody, you're hot and all, but your music BLOWS! I know you are trying for first album Liz Phair provacativeness, but you just sort of sound like Fred Durst.)
The roommate: (While calming me down that I'm not going to hell) Hell, schmell.....Hell is for red states.
Pimply, effeminate, underaged hipster to beautiful girl he was standing out of Welcome to the Johnsons with: I fucking love your voice now that you've lost it. You fucking sound like you've been smoking 10 packs of cigarettes a day since you were 7, which is so fucking sexy.
Kinda cute, tattooed stranger (who said faggot too much) sitting on my stoop who heard me say that I love Michael Pitt: Sorry, did you just say you "heart" him? That's bullshit. You're just scared. Admit it, you really, really like him.
Kinda cute, tattooed stranger (who said faggot too much) sitting on my stoop, after I explained that I wasn't talking about a guy I'm seeing, but a movie star: Nah, he's not a celebrity. I've never heard of him and I'm a man of the people.
Strangely NOT homeless guy, walking on Irving Place in a wife-beater, to the green parakeet he was carrying: You like it when we go to grandma's house, don't you? But first we have to stop and get us our sandwiches.
Dashing young man in a suit, on his cellphone in front of my office while I was smoking: Sometimes I like a hairy bush!
(The following are a collection of song lyrics that played on my ipod yesterday that I thought were funny, noteworthy, or just plain weird. Think of this as the "overheard on my ipod" section.)
Prince: Who's the funky drummer with the crooked little sticks, He might have better luck if he was drummin' with his dick.
(Seriously, this came on yesterday and I had never really HEARD this track before and I laughed out loud on the subway. This song also features the bitchin' line: "You can be the side effect, I'll be the dope." OBVS, Prince.....You always want to be the thing that gets you fucked up, not the lingering sexual side effects or the diarrhea or the incontinence!)
Fruit Bats: You hurt your foot rollerskating down by the bay, You lost your voice singing along to "Raspberry Beret."
(I'm sorry, how freakin' cute is this. He then goes on to say how much he adores her. That is exactly the type of relationship I'd want to be in--one where we rollerskate and sing along to Prince, though maybe not the above song, and it is so cute that it is almost vile.)
The Distillers: You think I'm a sucker you're fucking sick, the only thing i suck is my man's dick.
(My, that Josh Homme is a lucky man. Sorry Brody, you're hot and all, but your music BLOWS! I know you are trying for first album Liz Phair provacativeness, but you just sort of sound like Fred Durst.)
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