Rock Rock Rock N Roll High School

I love Moving Units and I really, really like Erase Errata and the Unicorns so I, naturally, tried to see them at the free/$2 show at Volume- especially since it's around the corner from my apartment. Unfortunately, me and Shaya and Adam were not the only people with this idea. Arriving at the old warehouse space, we were awash in a sea of punky- outsider-y high school students and mulleted hipsters. They were arriving two-by-two like Volume was the freakin' arc! And the line- dear God, the line!- stretched all around the whole city block. When we finally toook our place behind some wannabe, Ducky-esque kids we were around the corner, at the exact opposite side of the entry. When a bouncer (or just some skinny indie rocker with an official-looking piece of paper) came out and said the club was full we had no choice but to shrug our shoulders and go enjoy a yummy dinner at Oznot's dish instead. But the night was no loss. In fact, waiting in line and chain smoking was totally worth it for the atmosphere we soaked up. And, with that in mind, dear readers, I bring you the five best things overheard in line at Volume:

1) Some long haired 'tween introducing another alterna-teen to her blond friends: "Simone, Alexis, this is Allegra."
2) Some man-faced high school chic in a black punk rock sweatshirt and arm bands, after answering her cell phone, describing the call to her friends: "He just said 'I was just taking a shit and listening to the Kinks so now I'll go back to taking a shit and listening to the Kinks. I hope this isn't your landline.' Can you imagine if it was my home phone? With my parents?"
3) One nose-ringed high school dude to his spiky-haired Good Charlotte-looking neighbor: "Are you from the city?" Good Charlotte: "Nah. Westchester."
4) Woman in the blue kinderwhore thrift store dress with her streaky mullet pulled into pigtails to her friend with a short, dark pixie cut and Morrissey cardigan: "C'mon, Steve's up front. He's been here forever. His boyfriend used to do the sound guy."
5) Asian alterna-teen dressed as Summer from the OC (short, flouncy skirt, pastel polo shirt, long shiny brown hair) on her cell phone: Blah, blah, blah...."Ok, I've got to go. Good luck tanning!"

High-Larious! Seriously. At one point I tried to talk and Adam said, "Shhhh, when you talk I can't hear!" So we just stood there silently smoking and eveasdropping! It almost made it worth it that I missed I Love the '90s. You know, despite my claims to the contrary, I've missed every episode this week. Well, at least you can always count on VH-1 for one thing- RERUNS!