Oh well, whatever, nevermind.....

Each day of this long weekend I prepared to update my blog. Each day something new and noteworthy happened. And each day I was too drunk or hungover or tired or overwhelmed to post. So, where does that leave me now? Well, for starters it leaves me with four days of catching up to do here. Unfortunately, since I waited this long to post, none of the weekend's events seem that pressing or interesting and I've had WAY too little sleep to write about anything that happened with any modicum of excitement. So I'm subjecting you to another list.

15 Things I Learned on My 4th of July Weekend:

1) Motherfucker parties are fun because the djs rock, but arrive late enough to miss the live music. Especially if the show includes the terrible Neil Young immitations of hipster-coiffed Jesse Malin. Especially if Jesse seems to have been on a coke binge and is going to talk more than sing. Especially if he is going to say redonkulous things about "freedom in your pants" and being too punk rock for Queens and not caring if anyone registers to vote but hating Bush.
2) Jesse Malin is a douchebag.
3) Motherfucker is supposed to be on Sunday nights to keep all the Friday/Saturday revellers out. When held on a Friday, the party is too crowded. Especially if you are on 5 beers and a vicoden.
4) Drag queens love my boobs.
4)The best brunches in all of the 5 boroughs are all in Williamsburg.
5) If you are going to stay up until three in the morning arguing with a philosopher about whether Back to the Future could actually happen, you need to be prepared to have your whole world view blown open. Also, when talk veers away from time travel and turns to determinism it is probably best to not be so stoned off your ass that you actually go to bed depressed and crying a little because you feel powerless over your own life.
6) Having a roof deck is key on a holiday that revolves around fireworks over the East River.
7) The best way to greet guests for your 4th of July party is stoned and in a towel fresh out of the shower.
8) Wearing a skirt is not a great idea if you have to climb a ladder to get to the roof deck where you are gonna watch the fireworks.
9) Fireworks are pretty for approximately 2 minutes. After that they get real boring, real fast.
10) Pete's Candy Store's outdoor area is my favorite. You can smoke, get sandwiches and play a rousing- if oft-aborted- version of the movie game with your whole party of 12 and 2 (weird) total strangers from the next table.
11) Sometimes, even if you think you watch too much TV and too many movies, the movie game can be hard. It's weird that it was easy for me to come up with Looking for Mr. Goodbar (as an example of a Richard Gere movie) but difficult to think of a Christopher Walken movie that wasn't The Deer Hunter.
12) Bars with no working air conditioning should be avoided at all costs during the summer months in New York City.
13) Between 2 guys and 3 girls, you can come up with a lot of terms for dicks and tits. Enough, in fact, to base a game on it. In fact, I think I'm better at that game (the listing of slang terms for body parts game) than the movie game.
14) When you are playing "I Never" and you are so fucked up that you can't remember when you are supposed to drink- it's time to stop playing. This is a lesson learned the hard way.
15) I am officially too old to pull allnighters. If I stay up all night (especially if I stay up all night drinking and smoking) I feel lousy the next day and can't function. But, that said, four hour daytime naps can be nice- no matter what your age.