I know all the games you play, because I play them too!
I was watching my favorite TV show, The Best Week Ever, today when I announced that it is my professional dream to be a talking head on that show. If it were like me and Rachel Harris and Michael Ian Black all yammering on about Lindsay Lohan's boobs and Soul Plane starring Snoop Dogg..... well, a girl can dream!! Anyway, I realized that I hadn't posted one of my roundups in eons! So, here goes...
Winners:
The commercial for "I Love the 90s." I know, I lknow, I should find this exercise in too-recent nostalgia embarassing and just plain bad. But I can't help liking it. Joe E. Tata is in it reprising his role as Nat at the Peach Pit. Rachel Harris (yeah, I already mentioned how much I think she rocks) is totally wearing a bad Brenda babydoll dress. I know that this show is going to talk about "news"-y personalities like Lorena Bobbit and Tonya Harding and Heidi Fleiss in a stupid "remember that?" kinda way, even though those unimaginitive late night talk show hosts like Jay Leno are STILL making jokes about them. But this commercial makes me want to watch this ridiculous show because even it has a sense of humor about how dumb making nostalgia out of things that happened 4 years ago is! At the end of the commercial someone says, "Isn't it too soon?" and Michael Ian Black says, "It's not on 'til July!" C'mon folks, that's funny.
OutKast's Roses video. I know I should be over this song by now ,and I kinda am (SEE: my earlier post about deciding to be Big Boi's biggest fan), but this video, which seems to play four times an hour during any hour that MTV actually shows videos, still gets me! Any time it is on, I have to stop flipping channels and watch this Grease-meets-West-Side-Story talent show video (and not just because I was trying to figure out if that was the Real World's Irulan in one of the yearbook pictures- it is!). I love the silly dance that the Love Below does where they shake and shimmy and act out how stinky poo is. I love the costumes, with their converse and rolled jeans and Pink Ladies gang name jackets. I love the part where "Caroline" and her girls do a mime dance of putting on makeup which ends with fluffing their hair and giving a wink. And I especially love the unintentionally hilarious move Andre does when he goes to jump off the stage to start a fight with Speakerboxxx- it's like Daniel-san's crane move meets a frog jumping off a lilly pad. I still laugh every time!
According to the Sun in the UK, Bono is planning a 20th anniversary Live Aid show. That would be fucking awesome. Yes, I hate U2. Yes, I think Bono is a self-rightous megalomaniac. Yes, this did appear in the Sun and is probably just a rumor. But omigod! LIVE FUCKING AID! I still totally remember the last one, even though I was only like 7 years old. I remember watching Madonna and Queen (I still remember them singing Somebody to Love and, in fact, I think Freddy Mercury made such a profound impact on the little-kid-me with that performance that STL is still my favorite Queen song!). I was at the pool of Jill and Leo (two friends of my parents, who are now, sadly, divorced) and their living room TV faced the window so I could watch while I swam. And when Madonna, who was my IDOL at 7, took the stage I ran inside dripping wet to watch her performance and dance and wiggle along with her performance of Like a Virgin. I also remember being really proud that the US part of the concert was taking place in Philly. I remember wishing that my dad would take me down to JFK Stadium (which is now no more) so I could see Madge in person. Philly actually seemed like center of the world that day, instead of just some half-baked city in between the nation's capital and it's biggest city that I couldn't wait to escape from.
I finally bought Lollapalooza tickets and the Pixies are headlining the second night!! Woo hoo!! Pixies reunion show. I might pee my pants. I am just so excited to get to see them live since they have always been broken up to me. Speaking of.....the one person who wrote me a comment that wasn't Beth (it was so exciting! It's like I have an actual reader!) mentioned that what makes Surfer Rosa great is that it stand the test of time and that 15 years later it still sounds new and relevant. I couldn't agree more. And while I'm not trying to romanticize the past, as my anonymous poster acused, or say that music is shit now and used to be great, I just simply am thrilled to get to experience a little bit of what I feel I missed out on before. I know reunion tours are kinda cheesy and sad, but to me this isn't a reunion tour. It is the first time I'm gonna get to hear these songs played live and not on my ipod or on some jukebox somewhere. And I'm unappologetically stoked!
The Thermals. I know I have a whole post below all about their show and their albums and how great I think these Portland punks are, but I couldn't resist another mention. While I'm beating a dead horse, I'm also counting the days (15 to go!) until the Killers album is released. I already bought the little ep on itunes!! I love these fucking bands. Do yourself a favor and check them out. The Thermals are gonna play the Voice's Siren Fest (along with Death Cab and Mission of Burma and TV on the Radio!!) so, you should brave what is always one of the hottest days of the summer and have some overpriced beer and ride the Cyclone and see what I'm talking about! I promise I'm not wrong.
LOSERS:
Beyonce. Yes, she's hot. Yes, she can sing. Yes, Crazy in Love was a killer track. But her newest single, Naughty Girl, SUCKS. When the video comes on MTV I am filled with rage. There is no melody and the only hook is the one that she totally stole from Donna Summers. Her dancing also looks really weird and uncomfortable and unnatural. She is all herky-jerky and, though there is nothing I like about him, she can't keep up with Usher on the dance floor. He looks smooth and natural and, in comparison, she looks awkward and spastic. Plus, I am so annoyed at the hypocrasy of her sexiness. I got no problem with scantily clad women in videos, but I think there is something so wrong about giving lip service to "Loving the Lord" and performing at Bush's inaugeration and then writhing around, wet in a champagne glass while faking orgasms in a slutty costume your mom designed. Am I wrong people?
Dannon Frusion Smoothies. I admit, I haven't tried one. I don't drink beverages that are milky. I hate milk. I hate Dannon Frusion Smothies based solely on their commercial. You know the one where people trade in their breakfast bagels and donuts for a smoothie.... Well, at the end the pitch guy sings "Trade in your breakfast for that Dannon Frusion Smoothie." And, I swear to God, it the catchiest freaking melody ever. I spent all day yesterday looking at apartments in Williamsburg while singing it under my breath. I couldn't get rid of it. It is the worst earworm yet. And it isn't even a song!!
Punk'd. Don't get me wrong, no one likes to watch celebrities cry more than me. It was hillarious when Timberlake openly wept about his IRS problems and I did take perverse joy in watching Brandy blubber, "I'm a celebrity! I've got millions of dollars, I don't need to steal anything!" But it was kinda disturbing to watch the most recent "COPS" episode. If you are gonna sic the LAPD on some celebrity's ass, why did it have to be all black celebrities? You know they live in fear of the LAPD anyway! You know Mekhi Phifer probably gets shit all the time being young and black and driving a nice car in a place like LA, why do you have to make his worst nightmare come true? White dudes like Ashton (who, PS, is looking like he has a drug problem, all ADD and chain smoking during Punk'd) have no idea how a young, rich black guy must feel every time he gets pulled over and he totally exploited that.
The Day After Tomorrow. I'm know I'm not the first person to say this, but shit, do we really need another movie where we witness the destruction of New York? I know summer blockbusters are all about action and popcorn and effects, but I want no part of a movie that submerges the Statue of Liberty and shows the chaos of people running in the streets. If I want escapism in my summer movies, I'll take the fantasy of an unrealistic romantic comedy over the realism of some action movie that, at times, looks like documentary footage of the destruction of my city. Thanks but my hard-earned 10.50 would rather go to Saved! (which was great) or- dare I say it- Raising Helen (hey, I'm sure it sucks, but at least it's harmless and not about the end of New York City).
American Idol. Apparantly they chose a winner this week. Don't care who they picked. Don't care who lost. I only bothered to tune in to watch Quentin Tarrantino guest judge. I would respect this show a lot more if they just called it what it is: the National Karoake Championships. These people couldn't interpret a song if their lives depended on it (like when Andy played the bone piano in the Goonies). They are all screaming and melisma and painful belting. Congrats, you can sing well enough to win karaoke night at the local TGI Fridays- that doesn't mean that I deserve to be subjected to your album and your videos and your interviews on Letterman. I mean, this is a show that gave us both Ruben "Sorry 2004" Studdard and Clay "how long til the butt/gerbil rumors start" Aiken in one year! Haven't we suffered enough?!
On a totally separate, non-bitchy note, I went dancing last night at Don Hills for the Trash party (where I promptly got-what else?- trashed!) and it was like a set list off of my own ipod: Franz Ferdinand, Blur, the Clash, OutKast.... I danced with abandon- AKA: was so drunk that I didn't care how dumb I looked- and I think the high point of the night was when Shaya tried to get me to join Beth outside for a smoke and I actually spoke these words: "We can't go now! I don't wanna miss 'Faith'!" Goddamn, George Michael! I haven't loved that song so much since middle school. I shook my ass like I was wearing bleached jeans. I haven't had that much fun in a long time.
Winners:
The commercial for "I Love the 90s." I know, I lknow, I should find this exercise in too-recent nostalgia embarassing and just plain bad. But I can't help liking it. Joe E. Tata is in it reprising his role as Nat at the Peach Pit. Rachel Harris (yeah, I already mentioned how much I think she rocks) is totally wearing a bad Brenda babydoll dress. I know that this show is going to talk about "news"-y personalities like Lorena Bobbit and Tonya Harding and Heidi Fleiss in a stupid "remember that?" kinda way, even though those unimaginitive late night talk show hosts like Jay Leno are STILL making jokes about them. But this commercial makes me want to watch this ridiculous show because even it has a sense of humor about how dumb making nostalgia out of things that happened 4 years ago is! At the end of the commercial someone says, "Isn't it too soon?" and Michael Ian Black says, "It's not on 'til July!" C'mon folks, that's funny.
OutKast's Roses video. I know I should be over this song by now ,and I kinda am (SEE: my earlier post about deciding to be Big Boi's biggest fan), but this video, which seems to play four times an hour during any hour that MTV actually shows videos, still gets me! Any time it is on, I have to stop flipping channels and watch this Grease-meets-West-Side-Story talent show video (and not just because I was trying to figure out if that was the Real World's Irulan in one of the yearbook pictures- it is!). I love the silly dance that the Love Below does where they shake and shimmy and act out how stinky poo is. I love the costumes, with their converse and rolled jeans and Pink Ladies gang name jackets. I love the part where "Caroline" and her girls do a mime dance of putting on makeup which ends with fluffing their hair and giving a wink. And I especially love the unintentionally hilarious move Andre does when he goes to jump off the stage to start a fight with Speakerboxxx- it's like Daniel-san's crane move meets a frog jumping off a lilly pad. I still laugh every time!
According to the Sun in the UK, Bono is planning a 20th anniversary Live Aid show. That would be fucking awesome. Yes, I hate U2. Yes, I think Bono is a self-rightous megalomaniac. Yes, this did appear in the Sun and is probably just a rumor. But omigod! LIVE FUCKING AID! I still totally remember the last one, even though I was only like 7 years old. I remember watching Madonna and Queen (I still remember them singing Somebody to Love and, in fact, I think Freddy Mercury made such a profound impact on the little-kid-me with that performance that STL is still my favorite Queen song!). I was at the pool of Jill and Leo (two friends of my parents, who are now, sadly, divorced) and their living room TV faced the window so I could watch while I swam. And when Madonna, who was my IDOL at 7, took the stage I ran inside dripping wet to watch her performance and dance and wiggle along with her performance of Like a Virgin. I also remember being really proud that the US part of the concert was taking place in Philly. I remember wishing that my dad would take me down to JFK Stadium (which is now no more) so I could see Madge in person. Philly actually seemed like center of the world that day, instead of just some half-baked city in between the nation's capital and it's biggest city that I couldn't wait to escape from.
I finally bought Lollapalooza tickets and the Pixies are headlining the second night!! Woo hoo!! Pixies reunion show. I might pee my pants. I am just so excited to get to see them live since they have always been broken up to me. Speaking of.....the one person who wrote me a comment that wasn't Beth (it was so exciting! It's like I have an actual reader!) mentioned that what makes Surfer Rosa great is that it stand the test of time and that 15 years later it still sounds new and relevant. I couldn't agree more. And while I'm not trying to romanticize the past, as my anonymous poster acused, or say that music is shit now and used to be great, I just simply am thrilled to get to experience a little bit of what I feel I missed out on before. I know reunion tours are kinda cheesy and sad, but to me this isn't a reunion tour. It is the first time I'm gonna get to hear these songs played live and not on my ipod or on some jukebox somewhere. And I'm unappologetically stoked!
The Thermals. I know I have a whole post below all about their show and their albums and how great I think these Portland punks are, but I couldn't resist another mention. While I'm beating a dead horse, I'm also counting the days (15 to go!) until the Killers album is released. I already bought the little ep on itunes!! I love these fucking bands. Do yourself a favor and check them out. The Thermals are gonna play the Voice's Siren Fest (along with Death Cab and Mission of Burma and TV on the Radio!!) so, you should brave what is always one of the hottest days of the summer and have some overpriced beer and ride the Cyclone and see what I'm talking about! I promise I'm not wrong.
LOSERS:
Beyonce. Yes, she's hot. Yes, she can sing. Yes, Crazy in Love was a killer track. But her newest single, Naughty Girl, SUCKS. When the video comes on MTV I am filled with rage. There is no melody and the only hook is the one that she totally stole from Donna Summers. Her dancing also looks really weird and uncomfortable and unnatural. She is all herky-jerky and, though there is nothing I like about him, she can't keep up with Usher on the dance floor. He looks smooth and natural and, in comparison, she looks awkward and spastic. Plus, I am so annoyed at the hypocrasy of her sexiness. I got no problem with scantily clad women in videos, but I think there is something so wrong about giving lip service to "Loving the Lord" and performing at Bush's inaugeration and then writhing around, wet in a champagne glass while faking orgasms in a slutty costume your mom designed. Am I wrong people?
Dannon Frusion Smoothies. I admit, I haven't tried one. I don't drink beverages that are milky. I hate milk. I hate Dannon Frusion Smothies based solely on their commercial. You know the one where people trade in their breakfast bagels and donuts for a smoothie.... Well, at the end the pitch guy sings "Trade in your breakfast for that Dannon Frusion Smoothie." And, I swear to God, it the catchiest freaking melody ever. I spent all day yesterday looking at apartments in Williamsburg while singing it under my breath. I couldn't get rid of it. It is the worst earworm yet. And it isn't even a song!!
Punk'd. Don't get me wrong, no one likes to watch celebrities cry more than me. It was hillarious when Timberlake openly wept about his IRS problems and I did take perverse joy in watching Brandy blubber, "I'm a celebrity! I've got millions of dollars, I don't need to steal anything!" But it was kinda disturbing to watch the most recent "COPS" episode. If you are gonna sic the LAPD on some celebrity's ass, why did it have to be all black celebrities? You know they live in fear of the LAPD anyway! You know Mekhi Phifer probably gets shit all the time being young and black and driving a nice car in a place like LA, why do you have to make his worst nightmare come true? White dudes like Ashton (who, PS, is looking like he has a drug problem, all ADD and chain smoking during Punk'd) have no idea how a young, rich black guy must feel every time he gets pulled over and he totally exploited that.
The Day After Tomorrow. I'm know I'm not the first person to say this, but shit, do we really need another movie where we witness the destruction of New York? I know summer blockbusters are all about action and popcorn and effects, but I want no part of a movie that submerges the Statue of Liberty and shows the chaos of people running in the streets. If I want escapism in my summer movies, I'll take the fantasy of an unrealistic romantic comedy over the realism of some action movie that, at times, looks like documentary footage of the destruction of my city. Thanks but my hard-earned 10.50 would rather go to Saved! (which was great) or- dare I say it- Raising Helen (hey, I'm sure it sucks, but at least it's harmless and not about the end of New York City).
American Idol. Apparantly they chose a winner this week. Don't care who they picked. Don't care who lost. I only bothered to tune in to watch Quentin Tarrantino guest judge. I would respect this show a lot more if they just called it what it is: the National Karoake Championships. These people couldn't interpret a song if their lives depended on it (like when Andy played the bone piano in the Goonies). They are all screaming and melisma and painful belting. Congrats, you can sing well enough to win karaoke night at the local TGI Fridays- that doesn't mean that I deserve to be subjected to your album and your videos and your interviews on Letterman. I mean, this is a show that gave us both Ruben "Sorry 2004" Studdard and Clay "how long til the butt/gerbil rumors start" Aiken in one year! Haven't we suffered enough?!
On a totally separate, non-bitchy note, I went dancing last night at Don Hills for the Trash party (where I promptly got-what else?- trashed!) and it was like a set list off of my own ipod: Franz Ferdinand, Blur, the Clash, OutKast.... I danced with abandon- AKA: was so drunk that I didn't care how dumb I looked- and I think the high point of the night was when Shaya tried to get me to join Beth outside for a smoke and I actually spoke these words: "We can't go now! I don't wanna miss 'Faith'!" Goddamn, George Michael! I haven't loved that song so much since middle school. I shook my ass like I was wearing bleached jeans. I haven't had that much fun in a long time.
3 Comments:
i particularly enjoyed the moment at don hills when we decided that it was okay to just perform hole songs, rather than dance to them. it takes a special kind of drunk to do that.
I agree that it is worth is to wet yourself over the Pixies. I think people should be wetting themselves just the same to see Mission of Burma and if Wire does another tour, more wetting, more wetting!
I like "Naughty Girl" better than "Crazy In Love" but I think Beyonce is awful and looks like a stripper on her first day of work.
The two reviews I have heard for 'The Day After Tomorrow':
"I took my kid, the story is ridiculously thin but I have to admit, the effects were good" - my boss
"It was so good and scary because it could really happen" - my plumber
I wish I had a plumber. Or a boss, now that you mention it.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home