Sunday, January 09, 2005

Take that and rewind it back...

I'd like to appologize to my fan (yeah, Seno that's you!) for my prolonged absense. Christ, it feels like I start every post by appologizing for not writing for some time. The truth is that I've been very busy with stuff that isn't particularly fodder for the blog--like going back to work and being the victim of a crime. Suffice it to say, I've been very busy with stuff that I don't really feel like writing about. Plus, it's really hard to sit down and blog when you have to dig your way through the mound of end-of-the-year list issue magazines. I freakin' love those. And I've been trying to compile my own end-of-the-year list for you guys but pesky things like actual article writing or spending 6 hours at the district attorney's office keep taking presidence.

So, Happy Fucking (Belated) New Year, everybody! I have a really good feeling about 2005--despite the shitty ending that I had to 2004. I promise that by the end of the week, I'll have posted my best albums and singles of last year. (I mean, whose kidding? You know that I've been keeping a running tally all year!) I just think that the statute of limitations on compiling year end lists runs out towards the end of January. I don't think you guys will be surprised though--names that appeared on the blog all year like the Killers, Franz Ferdinand, Rilo Kiley, and the Thermals will, of course, be present and accounted for! (Not that I'm imagining that you all--and by "all," I mean all four of my loyal readers--are waiting by your computers with bated breath to hear what my favorite albums are. But if I could just vote in Pazz and Jop--hint, hint--then I would feel like I contributed my critical two cents about my favorite records of the year.)

Two things I did quickly want to mention.... First of all I just read an article about how the music industry is "recovered" finally, since they sold some 817 million albums this year and like 141 million legally downloaded songs. I know that is good news. But lest we get too excited, THESE are the big-selling albums that the industry is creaming themselves over for their earning potential:
1. "Confessions," Usher: 7,978,594
2. "Feels Like Home," Norah Jones: 3,842,920
3. "Encore," Eminem: 3,517,097
4. "When The Sun Goes Down," Kenny Chesney: 3,072,224
5. "Here for the Party," Gretchen Wilson: 2,931,097
6. "Live Like You Were Dying," Tim McGraw: 2,786,840
7. "Songs About Jane," Maroon 5: 2,708,415
8. "Fallen," Evanesence: 2,614,226
9. "Autobiography," Ashlee Simpson (news): 2,576,945
10. "Now 16: Now That's What I Call Music!": 2,560,316

BOOOO! I don't see what is to get so excited about. All this proves is that the people with the worst taste went out and spent some money. Call me when the top seller of the year is Devendra Banhart. That'd be news. It's not news to me that people like the shitty, smooth-ab-ed sexual chocolate of Usher or the bland Starbucks muzak of Norah Jones. It's not surprising that all those people out there in the so-called "red states" buy tons of country albums (that are deemed appropraite enough to sell at Wall Mart). It's not surprising that tripe like fucking Maroon 5, who might be my least favorite band of the year (Adam Levine and his stupid hand wave in that one video....grrrr!), are popular with their Train-lite "blue eyed soul." (C'mon people, is this really an era for a Hall and Oats redux!) Most of all, it's not surprising that millions of teens ran out to buy music that was processed like Velveeta cheese--like Ashlee Simpson (we know she can't sing without a track, but we just keep buying her faux Courtney Love bullshit like it was made of Cristal!)--or series like "Now!" that regurgitate singles already played to death on Z100 but because the artists involved can't sing more than one good song, what is the point of buying their whole album?!

Also, I wanted to direct your attention to this , as it is the only way I'm ever going to marry Michael Pitt or Bob Geldoff. Trust me, click on the link and play--you won't be sorry. It'll be like 7th grade. (Or, if you were unfortunate enough to go to an all-girls school, like me, it'll be like riding the bus to away varsity swim meets in, say, the 11th grade!)

PS: Just a reminder that you all should come to my birthday party next weekend (January 15th) at the Magician. Remember, it's a costume party!! Don't let me down..

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